I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm like, not good at living.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
