Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
