Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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