would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
try to milk me bitch
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
