i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
