i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
this boner is exhausting
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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