It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
