Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
