that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
