i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize