i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
