Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
