i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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