Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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