you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
