oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
