...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
