And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
