my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
