...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
