while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
