Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
