its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
