She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
