now i know why i became what i already was.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
