note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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