no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
