Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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