you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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