i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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