I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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