I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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