I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize