It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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