oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
