I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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