u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
