she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize