Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
The ass gains better be worth it
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