Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
