My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize