Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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