I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize