you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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