i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
