She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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