Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
