Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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