He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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