why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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