So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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