What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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