from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
40s are totally the cure
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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