but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
