I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
