thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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