i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
