# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
