If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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