if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
