three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
