so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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