woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
