I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
