I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
