hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
