You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
