So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
