is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
