So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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