you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Randomize
